If I Must Be Sent Away Again

I have frequent nightmares about being sent away from home as a child, violently handed over to sadistic strangers, and thrown into an empty cell of solitary confinement.
I will never really get over it.
But I am thankful for the experience. It will always haunt me, and yet I am stronger for having endured it.
But for God’s sake: Parents, please don’t ever send your children away without their consent! For a child to be violently wrenched from the security of their family and their friends and their natural home environment is an inexcusable abuse.
But I forgive my parents. Or at least I sincerely try.
They truly meant no harm.
They knew not what they did.
And unlike my Jesus who suffered without any guilt, I know that the pain I caused my parents was worthy of the agony I was forced to endure.
And unlike the evildoers who crucified Christ, my parents truly believed that my nails and thorns were in my best interest. In fact, they were genuinely convinced that my torment was “treatment,” and that breaking my heart was a benevolent act of love.
And perhaps they were right. So how can I blame them?
So I can’t be bitter about those trials. I can only be honest. Because truth is the prelude to forgiveness; and forgiveness is the prelude to redemption; and redemption betroths reconciliation.
I know that I was crucified out of love rather than hate. And I can live with that. Because I have to live with the realization that I have crucified many others with my apathy and indifference and arrogance and evil. The sins of my parents were sins of weakness and ignorance and confusion and doubt. But my own sins have been much more deliberate, much more intentional, and therefore much more indefensible.
Yes, these nightmares still haunt me. I don’t want to be sent away again! I still fear that some nefarious “they” will come to take me away, forcing me to wear a green hospital robe, placing me in a padded room, and declaring me a “criminal” or a “lunatic.” And in a society run by the criminally insane, I realize that the truth tellers will always be considered outlaws. Incarcerate them, anesthetize them, mock them, and slay them – but by all means silence them.
But maybe these nightmares emanate from the large, dark beam that is firmly implanted in my own subconscious eye. Maybe my dreams still torment me because I have yet learned to truly forgive, to truly move forward, to truly bathe in the love and light of Christ. Most of all I am haunted by my own grudges. And I am too old to bear this weight any longer.
Please, Lord Jesus: take this yoke upon Yourself. I want peace with my family. And I really, really just want to get some sleep. And if I must be sent away again, Lord please, send me home to You.
Selam, +Gebre Menfes Kidus+

David Tillis – Child Molester From GA running a youth counseling center!

David Roger Tillis – Runs a young adult counseling service in Georgia. He is a child molester from Anneewakee. He testified against Louis J. Poetter in return for no charges. In case you or someone you know needs counseling. Do not go to this guy!!!!!


When I searched his name I found these links


About Medlock Bridge Counseling Center



I found Her!

So last week, I found my best friend/partner in crime from Anneewakee! I can’t believe it was so hard to find her. I have searched Facebook for her name for the last 3 to 4 years. I decided to search again after going through all of the Anneewakee photos on one of the groups web pages. Three or four people down, I saw one from my husband’s high school in North Carolina, so, I clicked that one. IT’S HER OMG! I did not believe it at first. She has some of the same friends on Facebook as my husband does….grew up in the same area. Last year I spent a week in her town, visiting family, and I am sad that I was not able to find her before that! But now, when we go see grandma, we can see her too!!!

I talked to her on the phone, and she made my southern accent come back. That happens when I talk to someone from the south. She said I sound the same, and I forgot to tell her she does too! She helped me remember some things…. Like, once her mother came and spent the weekend on campsite with us! I do not remember anything about parents coming there. My mom never did. Now that I think about it, I would bet that her mom came because she did not get to go on home visits yet, and her mom missed her. I went on home visits, and I would not have traded in a home visit for her to come stay there with us. I totally wish that had happened now though!

We were both 14, and the youngest ones in the group. I was happy to have someone my age in the group. I was just young by myself till she came. We annoyed the other girls. We really weren’t bad, did not brake rules, we annoyed the staff too! I am glad no one cares about that now. We both have the same first name, and were born 5 days apart.

We plan to see each other soon =)

Short Story – First Girl at ATC

The day I came four more girls came. The lodge, dorm, clinic and admin building were there. I was there all alone for a few hours! Scared to death. The second day we started working on campsite(abidaban), nothing but a big red hill. My good friend Meg (who I’m still looking for) did something wrong(can’t remember what) and Martha Kitchens, the admin. at the time, made her dig a 12 inch hole with a spoon and the whole group of 7 had to watch. It was terrible. I knew it truly going to be hell!!!! I have so many stories, good and bad! I learned a lot and missed out on so much. It feels good to talk about sometimes, it was a great part of my life, I grew a lot.

Marcia Ray